Its my day off and I can’t help but, think about what transpired and why I finally reached my breaking point. I work for someone who causes utter craziness in our department. It’s been a rough year to say the least! Although, I know there is a purpose in all this. I’m trying not to get caught up in what continues to manifest in this organization.
Have you ever worked with someone that is all over the place in their thoughts and actions? How did that work out for you? I would like to be perfectly honest and tell you that I hit my breaking point. Working an average of 12 to 15 hours a day. Having to have my phone on 24 hours a day, seven days a week is beyond rational!
Can I continue to do all this? If my sleep time is decreased my body becomes weary and weak. I believe its important to not let my exhaustion show when it comes to others. I attempt to fuel my self with massive amounts of caffeine to have the energy to go on and on.
Its Sunday, and I’m being told I have to drive out of town for work. Meanwhile I was up at 4:40 am that day to go do my prison ministry. I had to come home and pack fast to hit the road. I had a 4 1/2 hour drive ahead of me. When I finally at the hotel it was around 11:30 pm that night.
It was nearly impossible to fall asleep, my body needed time to shut down from the long drive. I was told I had to be up and at a location by 7:00 am. I woke up exhausted because, this is not enough sleep time for me.
Plus, the turmoil I went through with my boss. This boss threatened to charge me for this hotel room if I did not show up as directed. This boss sent an email to a bunch of people threatening me with insubordination. Meanwhile, I had been working a month straight. This boss told me I couldn’t take my vacation, the vacation I had planned a year in advance.
The Mind & Its Breaking Point
My mind would not shut off long enough for me to fall asleep or stay asleep. So, lets just say I got about 3 hours of sleep that night.
After I did what I needed to do that next morning (which involved more craziness) due to my bosses inability to plan ahead. I headed out. On my way home, my arms and hands started to tingle and felt numb so I decided it was important to pull over. I notified my boss, her boss and HR via email.
As I sat in the car, my emotions started to pour out of me. I asked God why and how can a person like this do this to me? I can’t deal with them any longer! Why am I allowing them to affect my health and well being, this is unacceptable!
Eventually, I decided I was okay enough to get back on the road and as I was driving and listening to my radio playing Christian music and listening to Christian preaching. I really hoped it would get my mind off all that manifested.
Emotional Effects When You Hit Your Breaking Point
As I continued driving I realized I wasn’t getting any better. So, I started looking for shelter. I saw a hotel and took that exit, parked my car and unpacked my car. As, I walked in the entrance of the hotel and up to the front desk of a hotel, I could barely stand. I felt weak and weary and I was short of breath.
I was blessed that they had a room available. The summer months can be a bit challenging when it comes to hotel vacancy.
Have you ever been pushed and pushed or do you even understand what it means to reach your breaking point?
As soon as I got to my room and laid down I emailed my boss, her boss and HR. I told them I needed to pull over and get some rest, I needed sleep and I don’t know what is going on with my arms, hands numbness and tingling.
Shortly, after the email went out my bosses boss phoned me out of concern for my health and well-being. I said, I am beyond exhausted and I need to take care of myself. He asked if he could pray for me. I said, most definitely. He asked that I call him letting him know how I am feeling a bit later. That is when another email went out from my boss. Things continued to get worse! There were more breaking points yet to come.